Just look around you, and even in the world of celebrities, and you will find couples who have been together for decades and still look happy. As well as those who break up or divorce after only a few months of dating.
It is not easy to say exactly what keeps some people together and others not, but there are certain predictors that can tell something – behavioral styles. A recent study by psychologist Menelaos Apostolou revealed six categories of behavior that often predict the end of a relationship.
Two research groups were formed to examine the predictors of relationship breakdown. The first consisted of 233 Greek-speaking students (of which 132 were women) from a university in Cyprus. The average age was 31, 39% of people were in a relationship and 27% were single, the rest did not state.
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Participants were presented with a single request – “List some things your partner might do that would negatively affect your willingness to stay in the relationship.”
In the second group, there were a total of 536 Greek-speaking students, of which 321 were women. The average age was 32, 40% of people were in a relationship, 37% were single – and 28% had children.
As part of the assessment, they were given a list of behavioral styles (which arose from an earlier study) and a similar request – “Indicate to what extent the listed behavioral styles would affect your willingness to stay in a relationship.”
“The results revealed a total of 88 behavioral styles that influence the willingness to stay in a romantic relationship. These were then divided into six main categories,” says psychologist Arash Emamzadeh from the Canadian University of British Columbia for Psychology Today.
Major categories of behavioral styles
- Controlling (intrusiveness, critical behavior, manipulation, jealousy, competitive behavior)
- Does not care (lack of attention and interest, selfish and narcissistic tendencies, taking the partner for granted, not respecting the needs or opinions of others)
- Manifestations of rude behavior (complaining, shouting, cursing…)
- Romantic/sexual expressions towards other people (flirting with other people, infidelity…)
- Undesirable character traits (laziness, hunger, lack of ambition, emotional immaturity)
- Does not treat children well (does not take care of them, does not spend as much time with them as is necessary or appropriate)
Questionnaire
Which of the following points would be essential for you to leave the relationship?
Lack of care and concern for my person
Inappropriate sexual expressions, infidelity
Undesirable personality traits
Bad behavior towards children
All of them, none of this is appropriate
I don’t know, it would depend on other circumstances
A total of 219 readers voted.
According to the findings, points one, two and six have the greatest weight in decision-making. The analysis also found differences in evaluations within the gender and assignment of individuals. Women and singles gave more negative evaluations than others in the six categories mentioned. Age also had an influence on the assessment – older people were more critical in their assessment.
The biggest difference between the sexes was recorded for the item “doesn’t care”, which, according to experts, may indicate a lack of long-term commitment.
Singles also rated the three most negative points more critically than those in a relationship.
“Perhaps this is because people who are in a relationship or recently married tend to overlook unpleasant behavior from their partner because of the investment they have already made in the relationship. Singles do not have such investments, so they can afford to be more selective and critical,” concludes Emamzadeh.
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