Such an imaginary, better version of our personality likes to lend us a helping hand in many difficult situations and can even be fun to create. A number of well-known personalities also use their alter ego, which is literally a second self, in a positive sense. Perhaps to overcome stage fright, or to express themselves in a slightly different role than how they usually present themselves.
The famous actor Will Smith has an alter ego the Fresh Prince. It is the character that he himself portrayed in the series of the same name, and it helps him to have the courage to stand up for himself and act in his favor. Rapper Eminem, in turn, was led by the failure of the Infinite album to create Slim Shady, which allowed him to continue performing.
We can create a second self entirely according to our imaginations, but there are also literary or film characters who inspire us and have qualities we desire, or even real people, e.g. famous personalities.
What he can do, you can do
By creating our second, better self, we are actually trying to bridge the gap between where we would like to be in life and where we are right now, and where we are often nervously pacing in place. “Surely everyone knows that the alter ego is not someone else – it’s yourself. His role comes when doubts arise and life begins to falter,” says author Vatsal Jain.
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So it is in no way a split personality, but a technique thanks to which, in the role of our alter ego, we can step out of our comfort zone and try to do what we might not be able to do ourselves. Our better self will not dwell on unnecessary doubts and cower in a corner if we are timid, it will be able to take work and learning as work, if we lack perseverance and diligence, it will change its image whenever it wants, it will show us how to learn to dance well, stop smoking or finally slim down…
There are many ways to such an alter ego. For some, it helps to visualize a better version of themselves that they can aim for. It is enough to imagine that it is we ourselves who can do something. And it doesn’t matter if our ideal self can appear more confident in presentations at work, speaks fluent English, manages the sequence of yoga exercises or managed to lose two sizes.
“My other, better self has always had the strong characteristics of Leo, my horoscope sign. Since I was a child, I was rather timid, I didn’t believe in myself and I didn’t know how to sell my abilities,” says fifty-year-old manager Magda.
“There were many people born in Leo in our family, and all of them were successful and brilliant, for example my dad, an older sister or an aunt with an extremely interesting fate. And so, from the myths about the wonderful properties of this sign, I created my own vision of myself as a strong lioness, a generous, charming leader who can handle everything, and even when she is at the bottom, she can get up and move on,” concludes Magda, saying that to this day she her alter ego helps at work and in her personal life.
When a prop helps
Young children use their inner hero or alter ego quite naturally and as part of play. Wild pirates, perfect princesses, brave knights or knights, or even Elsa or Sofia, Phineas the administrator who is full of ideas, and Bořek the builder who solves everything… Any character can inspire.
“My son started kindergarten right on his third birthday, so he was much smaller than the other children. He got a lot of work from the elders,” recalls Petra, a mother of three sons.
“After about a week, he started wearing his toy police cap to class every day. I think he did it because the profession means authority, but certainly also because he was suddenly a few centimeters taller. The teacher was tolerant and the game of being a cop definitely gave him the confidence he needed to cope better with the situation.”
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The child can then solve a number of difficult moments by imagining what his favorite hero would say and how he would do it correctly, who would certainly not be afraid of anything. This psychotechnique is sometimes called the Batman effect. By seeing the child in certain situations in the position of a serial or movie superhero, he not only pushes the boundaries of fear and reduces the level of anxiety, but can learn, for example, perseverance and good habits.
Replace the negative with the positive
The idea of our other self can significantly affect our future, including our mental health. On a more abstract level, this concept of a “better self” is also used by psychotherapists when working with adults. We are talking about so-called behavioral activation, which helps with anxiety and depression, when patients should try to increase the number of positive activities and actually complete them.
“You recommend a specific behavior to the client, which then affects his emotions, thoughts and mood. For example, to decide that he will no longer be the person who just sits alone at home, but that he will be the person who goes for walks with friends. It replaces negative actions with positive ones,” therapist Rachel Thomasianová describes the method. The fact that the role seems unnatural to the client at first is not so important. The important thing is that he gets up and goes out.
Can’t you handle it? So play it
Another possibility to use your alter ego for personal development or, if you want, to play someone you are not in reality, is well characterized by a popular English saying Fake it, till you make it. In translation, it means Fake it till you make it.
It assumes that by imitating, for example, confident behaviors, certain abilities, and optimistic thinking, we can actually acquire these qualities and achieve what we aspire to.
To start, simply take inspiration from your surroundings. “In order for a person to be able to pretend something, he must first imagine as concretely as possible how the given situation or person could look like. Then you need to adjust your thinking and behavior and stick with this change for some time so that others believe. You may be surprised, but thanks to these actions – imagination, change, persistence – it is likely that the pretended thing will come true,” explains psychologist and coach Iva Riederová.
He further advises that, in addition to visualizing, for example, a self-confident person, we should realize how he behaves, which distinguishes him from those who are loud and unconfident. Using this technique, we actually “model” ourselves, and it can really be anything. “It can be said that this way you ‘attract’ the pretended thing. You think about it, find out about it, and try it. These three elements are the foundation of any learning. Thanks to this, we develop and acquire new skills and qualities,” concludes the psychologist.
Little tricks that work
Even if we already have a clear idea of what our better self should look like, it doesn’t mean that we have to immediately start behaving 100% like our imaginary helper, our alter ego. According to the author John DiPrete, you can start with small things, which will nevertheless affect our behavior, because they are based on the findings of neuroscience.
For example, if you are a shy introvert who behaves calmly but a little indifferent in the work environment and among acquaintances, try to talk yourself into smiling. The physical condition of the body can easily affect the psyche. Even an insincere smile can relax the vocal cords and, among other things, also affects the production of hormones that improve mood. It will also serve as an encouragement to friendly behavior and a sense of well-being.
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If you feel cramped when communicating at work or in other social situations, focus on your posture. It also works as a first aid for feelings of tiredness and sadness, especially when you can’t curl up and rest for a while. Do not slouch, straighten your back, keep your head upright, shoulders wide and breathe slowly, calmly. You will feel a surge of energy and confidence.
Are you one of those people who are under a lot of stress, and the inexorably approaching submission deadline makes you nervous and anxious? Try these two things, as crazy as they may sound. Fold your hands in front of your chest as if you want to hug yourself, close your eyes and hold for at least half a minute. Then raise your hands above your head and joyfully shout “yupeeee” or “hooray”. It’s a good way to relax. And a person who rejoices at the top of his lungs is not anxious.
What your alter ego should not miss
Author Vatsal Jain offers some advice on how to create your better, different self:
- Give your alter ego a task to complete that you want to go after. Lose 10 pounds, make more friends, get a better salary? Intention is important.
- Whether you choose a movie character or imagine an ideal version of yourself, really think about what characteristics and behavior style you want them to have and name them.
- Act as your alter ego would act. Some people “flow into the role” easily, while others take a while. When my other self is slim, she definitely won’t eat ten dumplings. And I won’t do it either…
- Try a change of clothes! You don’t have to wear a fearless princess costume or mess up your hair like Einstein. That doesn’t make you a brilliant scientist. However, if you feel confident when you wear a certain color or when you put on a jacket, support your other self in this way as well.
- Will a certain password, sentence or shout start you in the role of alter ego? I’m with him. Use whatever helps.
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