How to find happiness when life doesn’t go according to plan – News

Someone will break up a long-term relationship, someone else is not satisfied in terms of career, many others are dealing with difficulties in starting a family, for others health problems do not allow them to do what they would like. There are many obstacles that can arise on the way to your dream future.

“Adapting to the changes that are inevitable can be overwhelming for many. In the emptiness that accompanies such moments, it is not easy to find positive thoughts. Fortunately, people are much more resilient than they think. And happiness can be found in many other ways, which until then they had not thought about at all,” explains psychologist Juliana Breinesová for Psychology Today.

At the same time, he offers four strategies that can help all of us embrace a different life than the one we planned.

Grief and mourning are usually associated with the death of a loved one. But other types of loss can cause similar grief, even if few people admit it.

Research into denied grief has found that if such grieving is not fully accepted, it is likely that the grieving person will not receive support during a difficult time, which can subsequently affect their mental health.

So the first step is to fully recognize such grief as a painful loss worthy of compassion.

Reminders of what we have lost can appear everywhere. After a bad breakup, many people may feel that while they are suffering, many others are happy. However, such insights tend to be very distorted in a similar situation – simply because people tend to show off only the nice things, confide in them, and not say the unpleasant ones.

One of the earlier studies found that the emotional imbalance in such a situation often leads us to underestimate the suffering of others, which often makes us feel even more isolated and dissatisfied with our own lives.

Realizing that not everyone has everything and is happy all the time can help us not only to understand what others are dealing with, to understand their problems, but also to feel less alone in our lives.

Just as it’s good to allow yourself to grieve indefinitely, according to experts, it’s equally important to allow yourself to be happy despite your loss. Even though you may feel like you can’t or don’t deserve it.

It is true that after some types of losses, people are not able to enjoy all things as before, but they can find joy in new things. Research suggests that the ability to enjoy positive experiences and simple things like being able to enjoy good food or being able to take a walk in nature is associated with greater overall well-being.

“Enjoying something means being and living in the present, paying attention to what we experience and appreciating the enjoyment it brings us,” explains Breines.

Making plans for the perfect future is a fulfilling activity for many, which in itself satisfies and gives meaning to life. But no one claims that such a path will be a guarantee of happiness, even if you think so.

It is important to realize that even people who get everything they want are not immune to disappointment or regret. And that they too have their secrets – things that didn’t work out. Although they may not be as big as yours.

Therefore, when planning a new future, try to think about the fact that some step will not go as you want again. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy anyway. Enjoy what you currently have and plan ahead again. And if something gets stuck, it doesn’t matter, there’s always the option to go down a new, uncharted path – maybe it will end up being much better than the original one.