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Jindřich Šídel’s regular Saturday satirical gloss about things that move politics and society and which you may not have noticed or didn’t want to notice.
The chairman of the ANO movement, Andrej Babiš, bravely visited Tirana on Thursday to see the defeat of the Czech football players against the home team of Albania. So, if you had no idea what his six-hour speech in the Chamber of Deputies will look like on Tuesday, here is an abridged version:
So please, I was at that soccer game when ours played in Albania. Tragedy. Tragedy!
I flew there myself, with my plane, what I don’t have is in the fund and the Agrofert Foundation gave a hundred million to everyone they wanted, but I pay for everything myself, not like Fiala, who didn’t fly there, and everyone paid him like in the old days Odesa, which was a symbol of corruption, so I voted for her all my life…
And I wanted to advise them, as I advised Lipavský, the incompetent minister, a pirate who hates Israel, and I already said at two-seventeen that we should have an embassy there in Jerusalem, please, not as the police cartel claims now, that I didn’t want it, when Zeman wanted it, I wanted it too, Havlíček will testify…
So, above all, I think that our people should shoot more, like in Slovakia, and I already congratulated Prime Minister Fico that that Šimečko did not win the elections there, because that would be like the Pirates, who want 76 genders and illegal migration…
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So I met in Tirana with my friend, the Prime Minister of Albania, Eda Rama, like the butter that has now become terribly expensive for our people – and does the government care? They don’t care, it suits them! They want to buy fighter jets, which we don’t need, Albania is also buying fighter jets, and I told that Ram there that Albania should be in the EU and Schengen, the next time our people fly here for football, because of the roaming that Orbán and I made cheaper, when we blocked the European Council until half past four in the morning.
If Albania was in the EU and Schengen, there would be no worries about illegal refugees. They would all be legal…
Ours should finally win, as it was won for us, Euro 2016 was there, so nothing was won there, because the prime minister was Sobotka, who could not speak English and then he kicked me out of the government, but then the 2021 quarter-finals were for us, postponed due to covid , when we were all online 24 hours a day and were the first to bring in bamlanivimab and saved a lot of dead.
Even though they no longer wanted to save people and preferred to die, but then we defeated the Dutch in Budapest, they have a big, beautiful stadium there that Orbán built for them at half past four in the morning in Brussels, I also wanted to build such a national stadium for football and the other sports fields in every district town in the region, we had a national investment plan for it, Alenka and Dostálová did what Nagano won with Hnilička. Not like Hašek, who won, but now they hate Babiš, because what did Hašek do? Win Nagano? We won that, like everyone else, not him like Hašek…
But then Stanjura came and deleted everything. They can’t do anything but cut corners, we would cut corners too, because it is necessary to cut corners, of course, but we would cut corners better and we wouldn’t cut those stadiums and we built the D1 highway all there. Look at Poland, how highways and food are cheaper, even gasoline. However, we will probably have to win there in Poland, and I was in Poland recently, I know Morawiecki and everyone else, when Orbán and I also fought for Poland. And we won, please.
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We as a movement also always won, we won all the elections, but then came the politicized Rychetský, who invented some coalitions and a new electoral law, who harmed us and we voted for him, and then we had one more MP than if he had not harmed us , and that deputy, that’s Juchelka, who tells Jureček, what do you want to do with it?! There is no unemployment, so why are you? To be? Totally useless minister. Tragedy.
Like the squinty incompetent. He should be unemployed. Like Fiala, a political scientist, who now hired someone from Brno for disinformation, the new totality. I saw it there in Tirana, he should have changed earlier, definitely, as I always changed, I simply told the minister “you will get results or you leave”, and then he went, I changed four ministers in the health department and Mala too, when she tossed those rabbits. Benešová didn’t care for anyone, even though I had her in the government to care for me, but she didn’t want to, so please remember that, it was revenge for the sparrow’s nest and Krajčo sang there and the children liked to ride.
And we here at the moment have signatures to express a vote of no confidence in Sharp, so please, that’s all I wanted to say for now and I’ll get back to you in a detailed debate later.